Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash

Sometimes, we fail to see what’s possible for our marriage because we’re frustrated or hurt, or, worse yet, we’ve lost all hope that things will ever get better. 

So, we settle for what is instead of what could be.

What if we put some emotional space between us and our marriage problems to imagine where we’d like our marriage to be in a year and brainstormed options for getting there? 

Remember when we were taught in school how to brainstorm to generate ideas and resourceful solutions to solve problems? 

You probably use brainstorming from time to time. But to harness its true power, you must learn how to use it effectively.

Why Is Brainstorming Important?

Alex Osborn was one of the first ones to develop the original approach. He then published it in his 1953 book Applied Imagination. 

Researchers have added and improved on his original technique since that point.

Nowadays, the most popular definition of brainstorming is that it follows a relaxed and informative problem-solving approach that combines lateral thinking.

Okay, that sounds impressive, but so what? What does it have to do with you and your marriage?

For starters, brainstorming gets people unstuck and jolts them out of their routine or habitual ways of thinking.

Brainstorming gets people out of their rut; it motivates them to come up with ideas that, initially, can seem a bit “out there,” maybe even ridiculous.  

However, some of those ideas can spark innovative ideas and creative solutions for specific problems that you never would’ve thought of, considered, or stumbled upon.

Brainstorming Tips For Your Marriage

Those of us who are married all have dreams or visions for what we’d like our marriage to look like. 

That’s why if you want to improve your relationship with your spouse, you need to write down what kind of marriage you dream of having.

Don’t make it complicated by including every single little detail. Just brainstorm some general qualities you’d like your marriage to have more of and less of.  

You can use brainstorming to break through barriers and uncover new, innovative ideas.

Consider these helpful tips when brainstorming ways to improve your marriage. 

Encourage Positive Feedback

One of the goals of brainstorming is to break through false assumptions or self-imposed limitations regarding the issue you’re trying to solve. 

Strive to be optimistic and focus on the positive. 

However, give yourself permission to write down whatever comes to mind without judging or criticizing your ideas, as this creates a safe, welcoming, emotional environment for yourself. 

This approach helps you relax, be grounded, and be open to creative ideas and solutions versus being tense, frustrated, and closed, which limits you. 

Create as Many Ideas as You Can

Take the pressure off by coming up with as many little solutions as possible instead of one big, perfect solution for your problem. 

Focus on quantity instead of quality because the more ideas you come up with, the greater the odds you’ll eventually stumble across two or three really great solutions you’ve been hoping for that will improve your marriage!

Learn to Develop an Unconventional Approach

Unconventional thinking is sometimes frowned upon because it seems to be too far out there. 

So what? If it helps, it helps. Besides, maybe a “little out there” thinking is just what the marriage doctor ordered.

People resist unconventional thinking because it usually goes against the status quo or typical way of doing things. 

However, by welcoming unconventional thinking into your brainstorming sessions, you open up a whole new realm of possibility, creativity, and innovation! 

The result is an increased number of ideas, which boosts your chances of finding wonderful ways of improving your marriage. 

Be Inspired

Be inspired by others. Read articles and posts or watch videos about how couples improved their marriage. Use their ideas, or combine them with your own. Then, follow these steps:

1. Evaluate each idea or solution separately.
2. Next, make three imaginary piles:

• Creative and workable
• Could work
• Won’t work – entirely unsuitable for you and your marriage

For the ideas and solutions that might work, brainstorm how to apply them to your marital situation. 

Choose the ones you’d like to try and focus your energy and efforts on those as you try to improve your marriage.  

So many couples focus on everything that’s wrong with their marriage when they’re unhappy and having problems, which is dead-end thinking.

It’s time to look at things differently if you want a better marriage; you need new and better thinking. 

What kind of marriage would you like to have? Where would you like to be in your relationship with your spouse a year from now? What would you like more of and less of? Create a vision for your marriage. Evaluate where you are, make sure you don’t make things worse in your mind than they are, and then use creative thinking and brainstorming to find ways to start unlocking your best marriage.