We all want emotional and mental peace, especially in our most important relationships. No healthy person enjoys or thrives on conflict. If they do, avoid them.

And although we know we can’t escape conflict because it’s a part of life, we tend to avoid it because it makes us feel anxious and stressed.

Conflict steals our peace. Arguing and shouting raise blood pressure and increase heart rate. Feelings are hurt. Relationships are ruined. No wonder we hate conflict so much. 

If we want a life of harmony and love, we must learn to resolve conflict peacefully. Here are five lessons we can learn from overcoming conflict in a healthy, productive way to protect our relationship with that special someone.  

1. Conflict Teaches Us to Respect Other Viewpoints

Conflict is the result of two opposing viewpoints. Trouble starts when either party feels the other doesn’t understand their perspective, escalating tension.   

Listening to understand and compromise when appropriate is essential, especially when confronting a loved one. It shows we’re open-minded and understand their perspective, even if we disagree with their opinion. 

Acknowledging that you understand another person’s perspective can make all the difference in conflict resolution. 

2.  Conflict Allows Us to Share Our Needs

It’s easy to feel taken for granted, especially by those closest to us. That’s why it’s so important to verbalize our wants and needs kindly, warmly, and confidently; otherwise, we become resentful because of bottling everything up inside, leading to grudges. But the day comes when we can’t take it anymore, and we either shut down entirely or erupt like a volcano that’s been lying dormant for decades, spewing hot angry words everywhere. 

Conflict teaches us to share our wants and needs and voice our feelings and opinions.

3. Conflict Improves Our Communication Skills

Effective communication requires a lot of patience and self-control. It takes patience to understand where someone is coming from; it also takes humility.

Humility and patience are essential to resolving conflict, not only in understanding the other person’s perspective but also in sharing our thoughts and feelings calmly to avoid escalating tension.

4. Conflict Makes Us Better Listeners

To resolve conflict, we must strive to be a better listener. A better listener does whatever they can to understand the other person. It’s impossible to resolve conflict productively until you fully understand the situation. How can you fix something when you don’t where it’s broken? Knowing that it’s broken isn’t enough. You can’t heal something until you know where it’s broken, which is why becoming a better listener is so important. 

5. Conflict Opens Our Eyes to New Ideas

Different perspectives open our eyes to new ideas and ways of thinking. We can modify our opinion on the matter, be reinforced that we’re right, or come up with a new perspective altogether. Plus, listening to someone’s viewpoint can help us clarify our own. 

Disagreement and conflict can create beautiful, new perspectives when we apply grace, patience, and understanding in a spirit of healing and reconciliation. 

Conflict is a part of life. We can either choose to see conflict as a blessing or a burden. Approaching conflict as a blessing can create unity, trust, and, yes, even greater peace because we choose to become better people in the process.