Dealing With A Loveless Marriage
When we were still kids, we would often read, watch, or hear stories about people (usually prince and princesses) finding each other, falling in love at first sight, and living happily ever after.
Because of this, we grow up thinking that we could easily spend the rest of our lives with the love of our life in a state of pure bliss. But by the time each of us gets married, however, we eventually realize that the stories we enjoyed as children were nothing more than what they are: fairy tales.
As a result, we are left clueless and scrambling for ideas on how we could deal with our loveless marriage. This article aims to help people in loveless marriages address their situation and, hopefully, help themselves (and their spouses) change, improve, or get out of their situation.
Acknowledgment and Acceptance
For most people in loveless marriages, it’s hard to acknowledge, let alone accept, that they’re in one.
Fear of judgment from others, refusal to accept that there’s something wrong, and an unwillingness to recognize that their marriage is failing are among the most common reasons people deny that their marriage is without love.
As with all other problems, the very first step in dealing with a loveless marriage is acknowledging and accepting that you’re in one. Once the problem has been acknowledged and accepted, you and your spouse can start figuring out what caused this situation and, if desired and possible, take steps to heal your relationship.
Reigniting The Fire
For couples who choose to make an effort to save their marriage and “fix” their problems, communication is essential and required.
If it’s hard to have a peaceful dialogue with each other, enlist the help of a third party – someone neutral to act as a mediator, preferably a licensed counselor or therapist. Marriage counselors are very helpful because they help couples get to the root of the problem without letting anger and defensiveness block progress.
Resolving most, if not all, of their issues often helps couples begin rekindling their love for each other and rebuild trust. As they start to reignite the fire, they can go back to enjoying a happy marriage filled with love.
Fight or Flight
In figuring out how to deal with their loveless marriage, a couple must decide if they will fight for their marriage or simply end it, which should be the very last option after they’ve tried everything else.
Carefully taking into account all who will be affected by this decision (most importantly their children), the couple must make a decision together.
If one spouse decides to fight for their marriage, but the other decides to end it, the couple may once again seek help from a neutral person.
Couples with children may have a hard time figuring out what to do; they might face heart-wrenching choices. But instead of ignoring the situation or making a rash decision, constant and open communication will work wonders and make the situation less destructive.
When you got married, you exchanged marriage vows to stay together no matter what and work through whatever issues you might face as a couple; falling out of love is one of those issues.
Identify the reasons why you feel you fell out of love; and, if possible, reverse the process of falling out of love to do whatever you can to fall back in love again.