Is Self-Love Selfish?
We tend to forget about ourselves the moment we enter into a relationship. Our attention shifts from ourselves to our partner, and we constantly put their happiness above ours.
While selflessness is one of the elements that help make relationships work, this doesn’t mean ignoring our needs because it’s difficult to give from an empty bucket.
The success of a relationship lies in the capacity of both parties to take care of themselves.
If you constantly shower yourself with love and affection, you’ll do a better job of taking care of your partner. You’ll be surprised at how setting aside an hour or two each day to look after yourself will improve your relationship.
Receiving is Just as Important as Giving
It’s hard to love others when you hate yourself.
Ancient wisdom says we should love our neighbor as we love ourselves. We love others how we love ourselves.
Loving yourself isn’t selfish …it’s necessary because you can’t give from an empty vessel. This is a wonderful reminder for people who become so engrossed in loving, caring for, and looking out for others that they end up neglecting themselves.
Of course, we want our partner and the people around us to be happy, but we must remember that we deserve to be happy too.
In case you’re struggling with this concept, allow us to paint you a picture. Think of your love tank as your phone’s battery. Imagine that it’s 100% full. Whenever you use your phone to browse the web, send emails, message your friends, check out online shops, take pictures, and answer calls, the battery percentage decreases. The phone does as it’s told until the battery gets depleted, and the only choice you have to make it work again is to charge it.
That’s how we are as people.
We don’t realize it at first, but we also run out of “love supply.” We’re so used to thinking it’s better to give than to receive, but that’s not the complete picture.
You’re just as important as the people around you.
You’re just as worthy of the love you keep giving to others. You’ll probably end up resenting your partner the moment you realize you’re running on empty because you were so busy making them happy that you didn’t make time to replenish yourself.
If you want to have a peaceful relationship, start by loving yourself.
Make a Commitment to Yourself
Commit to loving yourself – to caring about your life. Acknowledge your gifts, talents, dreams, and goals. Appreciate yourself and the contributions you make.
Make a list of things and activities that make you happy and try to check one item off each day.
It could be something as simple as sipping a warm cup of hot chocolate topped with marshmallows or singing in the shower. Whatever it is, the important thing is that you continue to value and love yourself while being in a committed relationship with someone.
Loving yourself doesn’t make you any less of a committed partner.
Not many people are aware of this, but a lack of self-love is often the number one reason why relationships fail.
People who have an unhealthy need to always look to their partners for affirmation and love often end up losing them because they seem needy and insecure.
Those who are not overly dependent on their partner and have a strong sense of self-worth, and can love themselves, will inspire their partner to work harder to make the relationship work.
Their partner will see them as someone worth keeping, and are more willing to express and demonstrate their love and appreciation.
When both parties have an abundance of healthy self-love, there will be more highs than lows, and greater respect and stability, in the relationship.