Even healthy relationships require an audit every now and then. This helps the couple to identify sore spots in their marriage and make changes where necessary. At the very least, couples should evaluate their marriages every three months. With open communication, an evaluation can take as little as 30 minutes.

How to Take Stock of your Marriage

1. Schedule a 10-30 minute meeting with your spouse.
2. In preparation for the meeting, identify the things that bug you most about your spouse or those that you argue about most in your marriage.

If you need a little help identifying the sore spots, use the questions below.

• Are you satisfied with the amount of affection that you receive from your spouse?
• Do you enjoy open communication with your spouse?
• Are you faithful to each other?
• Are you on the same page with regard to your finances?
• Do your spouse’s friends and family accept you?
• Do you agree with your spouse’s sexual preferences?
• Does your spouse sense of humor make you laugh?
• Is there any form of abuse in the relationship?
• Are you and your partner kind to each other?
• Do both of you communicate freely about your feelings?

3. Write down these issues and their possible solutions in a journal so that you don’t forget to bring them up during the meeting. Also write down what you appreciate most about your spouse and your marriage.

4. Start the conversation with what bugs you most. Don’t forget to point out what you would like your spouse to do to make the situation better. Keep the conversation going until you reach an agreement on all the points.

5.In closing, discuss what you appreciate most about each other. Do not forget to thank your partner for listening and honoring your requests. This ends the conversation on a positive note.

Get Your Marriage Back on Track

The whole purpose of evaluating your marriage is to identify areas that could use some improvement and then do something about them. Here are some relationship tips to help you get your marriage back on track.

Imagine your ideal situation

Take a moment to imagine a perfect day in your relationship. Once you have this in mind, create a plan to get from your current reality to where you want to be. Break the plan into bite size pieces and then implement it one piece at a time.

Let go of grudges

Grudges have no place in healthy relationships, so let go of them. Write all your grudges down on a piece of paper and then give yourself time to really think about them. Get angry about them, grumble and wallow in their misery. Once you have done that, torch them and make a conscious decision not to think about them anymore.

Nurture yourself

If you don’t nurture yourself, you can’t nurture your marriage. This is by far the best advice for newlyweds that I have ever heard.

In marriage, it is important to prioritize activities that keep you relaxed, healthy and whole. Scheduling “me” time is a necessity and by no means selfish. It facilitates healthy relationships because spouses bring healthier versions of themselves to the table.