Physical intimacy is the first thing that comes to mind when we hear the words “intimacy in marriage.” However, physical intimacy is only a small part of marital intimacy. In fact, there are five form of intimacy that every married couple needs in order to have a long and happy marriage. They are intellectual, social, emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy.

Intellectual / cognitive intimacy comes from exchanging thoughts and ideas openly.  It has nothing to do with discussing highly intellectual ideas. There is a lot of intellectual stimulation to be gained from sharing your opinions about food, health, work and all the other things that affect our lives.

Social intimacy is about doing things together and generally experiencing life together. This includes things like taking a walk, making dinner or watching a movie with your spouse.  To nurture this form of intimacy in marriage, find some things that you like to do as a couple and start doing them more often.

For long distance couples, social intimacy can be nurtured by talking about the things you are doing or experiencing – so that the other person almost feels like they are there too.

Emotional Intimacy is all about sharing feelings and emotions with each other. This form of intimacy can also be nurtured through empathizing with each other and trying to understand each other’s feelings.

Spiritual intimacy comes from sharing religious beliefs and observing religious practices together. Christian couples can nurture spiritual intimacy by praying together, going to church together and reading and discussing the bible with one another.

Physical Intimacy can simply be described as “a loving touch.” A loving touch, such as a hug or kiss communicates acceptance and love to your spouse. This in turn boosts the emotional connection between the two of you. Note that sexual intimacy is only a part of physical intimacy and not all there is to physical intimacy in marriage.