Have you ever reached a dead end in a disagreement with your spouse? Where none of you could convince the other to “cross over to the other side?”  There are only two ways to deal with such a situation. You can either agree to disagree for a happy marriage or keep on trying to convince your spouse causing more anger and frustration.

It goes without saying that agreeing to disagree is the better option. However, what does it really mean to “agree to disagree?”  Does it mean that you should give in and apologize even if you do not believe you have done anything wrong? Or, pretend to drop the issue and then walk away thinking how dumb your spouse’s opinion is? Not really.

Agreeing to Disagree Means:

Accepting that you don’t have to agree on everything  – Just because you are unable to see eye to eye with your spouse on a particular issue doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed or anything like that. Also, just because you are married doesn’t mean you are going to agree on everything. You and your spouse are still unique individuals with your own individual opinions.

Considering that you might both be right – It is possible to have a disagreement where none of you is right or wrong. A disagreement about which color is the best is a great example. In such cases, you just have to acknowledge that just because you disagree with your spouse doesn’t mean you’re right or they’re wrong.

Deciding whether you would rather be right or in a happy marriage – Winning an argument with your spouse may not be worth it if it leads to marital problems. Sometimes, you just need to look at the bigger picture and just “let it go.” You may lose the “battle” but you’ll win the “war.”

Realizing that you don’t need the ego boost that comes with having someone else agree with you – It feels nice to have your spouse validate your ideas and opinions. However, agreeing to disagree requires you to have enough self confidence to realize that you don’t need your spouse’s confirmation in order for your opinions to be valid. They are valid either way.

Deciding not to be angry about things that you cannot change – There’s no use being angry about something that you cannot change, even if that something is your spouse’s opinion. Letting such things go shows that you have a healthy sense of self respect. It also keeps the anger from building up inside you and leading to more marital problems.

You and your spouse don’t need to agree on everything in order to have a happy marriage. You are both unique individuals and having differing opinions should never be taken as a sign that something is wrong with the marriage. Unless, of course, you disagree on fundamental values or principles.