Seven Obstacles to a Fulfilling Christian Sex Life
Seven Obstacles to a Fulfilling Christian Sex Life
Although this topic isn’t talked about much because it makes people uncomfortable, in this article I will share seven secrets for having and enjoying greater physical intimacy for the Christian couple.
God created marriage and all of the wonderful things that are associated with it. This includes sex.
Physical intimacy between the Christian husband and wife is profoundly beautiful. So let me get right to the point and ask: Are you enjoying sex in your marriage?
As we all know, sex is an essential component for a healthy marriage, Christian or otherwise. However, many Christian couples can find themselves in a sexless marriage or feel guilty about giving themselves permission to fully enjoy this aspect of their relationship.
Here are seven main obstacles that get in the way of a fulfilling sex life for the Christian husband and wife:
Not Knowing what the Scripture Says about Sex
Believe it or not, in the bible, God commands us to have sex!
In Genesis 1: 27-28, when God had just finished creating Adam and Eve, he commanded them to “be fruitful and multiply”. This means that God made physical intimacy a priority within the marriage bond. In Genesis 1:31, the Bible says that God looked at all he had made and said “it was good”. This tells us that God approves of sex in Christian marriages.
Not talking to Your spouse about your Sexual Preferences
If you want to enjoy sex as a Christian, you must share your sexuality and sexual preferences with your partner. It is the secret to intimacy in Christian marriages.
Being vulnerable with your spouse on a conversational level helps you to develop an emotional bond. You can begin by telling your spouse what love making means to you emotionally and how often you would like to have sex. Be specific about your expectations as far as intimacy in marriage is concerned.
Feeling Obligated to Have Sex
How can you expect to enjoy sex as a Christian when you only do it out of obligation?
Sex was created for both procreation and recreation. In the Bible, Songs of Solomon poetically describes sex as something that should be anticipated and enjoyable.
So give yourself permission to explore the thrilling dimension of God’s gift of physical intimacy. Just make sure to respect your spouse’s wishes as far as sex and the Christian life are concerned. If your partner isn’t comfortable doing something, don’t push them.
In 1 Corinthians 7:5 the Bible says that we should not “deprive one another except with consent for a time”. This means that you shouldn’t deny your partner sex or force them to do anything without their consent.
Failure to Plan
Since so many people have a hard time reconciling sex and the Christian way of life, they end up sexually frustrated. Though there are some couples whose libidos vary greatly, most couples just aren’t having sex often enough.
Despite the critical role that sex plays, it can be difficult to find the time or energy. I know what I’m about to say will sound void of spontaneity and probably won’t said romantic, but maybe what your sex life needs is a plan — a schedule (I know I know, it sounds boring but hear me out).
Though most people are under the illusion that planned sex is stale, look at it as if you are planning special time with your spouse. This will eliminate anxieties relating to sexual pressure and deprivation from your Christian marriage.
Using Sex as a Reward or Punishment
In marriage, husbands and wives are sometimes tempted to use sex as a manipulative tool. So many married people make the mistake of using sex as a reward for positive behavior and withholding sex when they are angry with their spouses.
When your Christian sex life becomes a point system, you are inevitably sabotaging your marriage. For intimacy in marriage to be meaningful, it must be unconditional. If necessary, find other healthy ways to overcome your marriage problems without having to use sex.
Unresolved Sexual Abuse Issues
Before you can fully enjoy sex in the Christian marriage experience, you need to resolve any sexual abuse issues that you might have. Most victims of sexual abuse have an aversion to intimacy in marriage because their view of healthy sexuality is distorted. If you are a victim of sexual abuse, please realize it wasn’t your fault and enlist the support of a professional to help you work through any issues.
Pornography has been known to destroy many Christian marriages. It creates an insatiable thirst for sex and harmful erotic behavior within an individual.
Unfortunately, some people are under the impression that pornography will improve their sex life. What such people fail to realize is that pornography nurtures the physical aspect of intimacy while ignoring the emotional, which in the end creates empty relationships. If you’re suffering from pornography addiction, seek help from a qualified Christian counselor.
Christian sex is a gift from God and it should be embraced and nurtured and not something just to be tolerated or misused. As Christians today, let’s strengthen our marriages through healthy Christian sexuality.