How Spirituality Improves Communication

Communication Problems

Communication problems tend to plague so many marriages today.

But researchers say that in marriages where couples live out their religious faith and beliefs, the end result is happier marriages because of fewer communication problems.

Why?

Well, in general – and I know this might offend some people – people who consider themselves to be spiritual, report having happier marriages when compared to couples who say that they aren’t particularly spiritual.

While the research suggests this to be true, you might be wondering what it is, specifically, that helps these couples overcome their communication problems more effectively than those who don’t consider themselves to be as spiritually-minded.

Perhaps one reason could be that people of faith possess certain elements that create better communication.

Key factors that overcome communication problems include:

• honesty
• vulnerability
• genuine concern for your partner
• unselfishness
• gentleness

In general, should these factors be found in spiritual people?  Ideally, the answer is “yes”. These values, when practiced, tend to solve many of the communication problems that marriages face today.

In the Christian Scriptures, the Apostle Paul tells believers that as they grow in their faith, the Holy Spirit, the third member of the Christian Godhead, will change them. This is especially important because most relationships face communication problems.

Consider this statement. “But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23a.

Notice the similarity of Paul’s list of characteristics to the list I shared earlier in this article.

If a believer possesses the traits mentioned by Paul, then he or she would certainly have the tools necessary to overcome communication problems between themselves and other believers and also within their own marriage.

While not every proponent of the Christian faith can be said to possess these character traits, it is true that many do.  And when the lives of believers have been changed to this degree, then they become better marital partners, in part because they have the tools to overcome communication problems and therefore to become better communicators.

How can you use this information to overcome communication problems in your marriage?

Well, if you are a person of faith then ask yourself whether your faith has truly changed your life.

Do you possess the characteristics of a true believer?  If not, take steps to allow your life to be so changed:

• make attendance at worship services a regular part of your life
• read Scripture or other religious writings daily
• pray and meditate
• serve those who are in need

These are all excellent ways to grow your faith. And  one of the key benefits will be the ability to overcome communication problems and become a better communicator with others as-well-as with your spouse.

Some people find it helpful to enlist the help of a mentor in this area – someone who encourages them to overcome their communication problems because it’s all too easy to shut down in this area.

The temptation for people is for them to become self-conscious and uncomfortable. So they clam up. And the communication problems persist. If this is the case for you, then consider engaging the help of a trained clergy as you work to overcome the communication problems that you know are hurting your marriage.

If you are a Believer and reading this, then I want to take this opportunity to challenge you. The bottom line is that it is not enough to just claim to be a believer. Your faith must so permeate your life that it changes you…from the inside out.

Your thoughts, attitudes, and behavior must be affected by your religious faith.

When this happens, you will possess tools that will help you to become a better communicator.  This is a crucial step to overcoming any communication problems that you face so you can finally have the marriage you’ve always wanted.