I’ve been wanting to ask you something that’s kind of personal. So here it goes:

How important is your marriage to you?

If you were really honest with yourself and counted the number of hours you and your spouse spend together each week — just the two of you — would that time investment reflect that your marriage is one of your highest priorities?

Most people would probably say their marriage is a top priority… but what does your calendar say?

The truth is, a happy and fulfilling marriage requires more than good intentions. It requires a major time commitment, on purpose.

According to relationship research, healthy couples need at least 15 hours a week together to keep their connection strong. On the other hand, unhealthy couples typically need closer to 20 hours weekly to start turning things around and rebuilding emotional intimacy.

That may sound like a lot, especially with jobs, kids, and endless responsibilities competing for your time, but think about it: how much time do we easily give to social media, streaming, work emails, or hobbies? If your marriage really is your most important relationship (and I believe it is), it should be reflected in the way we budget our time.

So let me ask again:
How much time are you giving to the most important human relationship in your life?

Please don’t hear this as guilt or judgment. This isn’t about shame.

Think of it more like a mirror… a way to check in with yourself.

If you are spending intentional time with your spouse regularly, take this as an affirmation. You’re on the right track.

And if you’re feeling a little off in this area, let this be a friendly nudge — not a scolding — but a gentle reminder that great marriages don’t just happen. They’re built. Brick by brick, hour by hour.

I often tell couples:
A healthy marriage doesn’t happen automatically.

It takes time.
Not just quality time, but also quantity time — both are vital.

One simple place to start?
Three date nights a month. Just the two of you, no distractions, no double-dates — just a time to enjoy each other’s company and keep the relationship vibrant.

Now, I know three dates a month won’t hit the full 15–20 hours a week, but it’s a great starting point — and more importantly, it sets a rhythm. Reconnection becomes a habit.

So here’s your challenge for this week:
Take 60 seconds, check your calendar, and schedule one special block of time — even if it’s just an hour or two — to be together with no agenda except connection.You’ll be amazed what that time can do for your marriage.