Can you guess what researchers say is the #1 predictor of divorce?

It’s not money.
It’s not in-laws.
It’s not big disagreements or the “big issues” we tend to blame.

It’s negative communication patterns.

Think about that for a second.

When you look at your marriage, what percentage of your communication falls into the negative category? Snapping. Criticizing. Withholding appreciation. Sarcasm. Dismissive tones. Those little things add up faster than we think.

And here’s something even scarier: we pass our communication patterns on to our kids.
They watch how we talk, how we fight, how we apologize (or don’t). When they get married someday, they’ll model what they saw at home—good or bad.

What the Research Shows

Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman—famous for being able to predict divorce with over 90% accuracy—found that couples who fall into persistent negative communication cycles (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling) are the ones who struggle most. But here’s the encouraging part:

Eliminating just ONE negative communication pattern has more impact on the stability of your marriage than adding FIVE positive behaviors.

That’s huge.
It means you don’t have to overhaul your whole relationship to see real change. You can start small—really small—and still strengthen your connection.

A Simple Marriage Tip for This Week

This week, try focusing on one thing:

Let your spouse know you appreciate the little things they do.

Don’t withhold praise just because “they were supposed to do it.”
Say thank you.
Notice the effort.
Catch them doing something good and affirm them—out loud.

Withholding appreciation is a subtle but powerful negative communication pattern. And the good news? It’s one of the easiest ones to eliminate.

So get rid of it this week.
Start small.
Start simple.
Start with “Thanks—I noticed that.”

Sometimes the easiest habits make the biggest difference.