The gifts in our hearts are more important than the gifts under our tree. 

Consider giving your spouse two kinds of gifts this Christmas: 1) The ones under the tree that they unwrap with their hands, and 2) The ones from your heart that they unwrap with their soul. 

The holiday season is the perfect time to let your spouse know how much you love them, even if things haven’t been going so well in your marriage.

Christmas really isn’t a season; it’s a feeling.  

Sometimes even when you love your spouse, it’s easy to focus on how they disappoint you and let you down. After a while, you start seeing more bad than good in them because that’s what you focus on most.

The beauty of Christmas is that it softens and opens hearts; people are more understanding and forgiving.  

So why not take this opportunity to give your spouse five “emotional” gifts to let them know how much they mean to you, along with the ones you’re giving them to unwrap?   

Our partner deserves to be complimented and thanked – to feel noticed and appreciated; otherwise, it’s easy to feel like a doormat and taken for granted – to feel like a nobody – that you don’t matter. 

When was the last time you gave your partner a genuine, heartfelt compliment? 

If you’ve not been complimenting your partner regularly, this is a great time to start. Here are five compliments, five emotional gifts, that you can give your spouse:  

1. Their looks and appearance. 

Tell them what you find attractive about them. Maybe it’s their smile, eyes, hairstyle, shirt, or confidence. And when they make an effort to look good for you, let them know how much you appreciate it.

Every spouse wants to feel wanted by their partner. 

Give your spouse a compliment that lets them know you like what you see and desire them.  

2. Their contributions. 

Show appreciation for what your spouse does to keep the household running smoothing. 

Compliment their cooking or how well they fix things. 

If they work hard to keep the yard looking nice, say something! 

Don’t let the mundane things you do every day go unnoticed for very long. Thank your partner for their efforts; they will enjoy being acknowledged and appreciate your compliments.

3. Going the extra mile.

If your spouse does something you ask them to do, thank and compliment them, even if it didn’t meet your expectations, because you know you would’ve done it better.  

And if you had asked them to change something about their behavior and they did it, acknowledge their effort by complimenting them and showering them with appreciation. 

4. Give a note or card.

When’s the last time you gave your spouse a note or a card for no reason other than to let them know how much you love and appreciate them?

Write them a love note in which you compliment them, or send flowers with a special note. 

Surprise them with a small gift when it isn’t Christmas or their birthday. 

Treat them to a special dinner for no other reason than to celebrate them and let them know how much you love and appreciate them. 

5. Affirm them.

It’s hard for some people to receive compliments, so they brush it off or downplay it, saying, “It’s nothing – it’s what I’m supposed to take care of or do.” 

If your spouse is that kind of person, affirm them by letting them know that although it might be nothing to them, it means a lot to you, and you appreciate them very much. 

This Christmas, give that special loved one in your life the gift of your sincere appreciation; compliment them. Let them know all of the wonderful ways they make your relationship beautiful. 

“During the holiday season, in fact all year long, wrap yourself around another’s presence, not presents,” Christine E. Szymanski.