Mad About Marriage

Do They Love You? (And Do You Love Them?)

Home »  Love »  Do They Love You? (And Do You Love Them?)

Do They Love You? (And Do You Love Them?)

On November 4, 2022, Posted by , In Love, With Comments Off on Do They Love You? (And Do You Love Them?)
Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

People say they love everything from pizza to God to rainy days to the person they can’t live without!

What is love? Well, it’s kind of complicated.

Love is a heartfelt emotion, a deep feeling of affection. 

But it’s also a decision and a commitment because we don’t stop loving someone we care about when they disappoint or anger us.

Love is rich with meaning. There are different types of love and expressions of affection. 

Love can be manifested through the affection of friendship, or it can be platonic – intimate but non-sexual. Love can be romantic, sexual, parental, compassionate, or religious.  

Love creates bonds and attachments, like the love between a parent and child, a brother and sister, or the union of two people becoming one flesh through holy matrimony. 

But we can also “love” things like chocolate, sleeping in, or traveling. 

And let’s not forget the love we feel for our pets.

Love can be impersonal – like “loving” an object, a game, or a goal. 

Then there’s interpersonal love, a relationship between two people. 

But most of the time, when we talk about love, we’re talking about romantic love – the love two people share. It’s the kind of heartfelt affection that expresses itself with these words:

“I love you.”

But how can you know when someone genuinely loves you? If only there were some kind of test. Wait… actually, there is.

Love Tests

1. Love Supports

If you truly love someone, you want what’s best for them. You don’t sulk, control, manipulate, pout, coerce, or give ultimatums to get your way. 

2. Love Builds Up

You’re there for each other; one person doesn’t exist for the other person’s sole satisfaction, benefit, or fulfillment. You help and support each other and add to each other’s happiness and success. 

Love isn’t a one-person show or a one-way street.

3. Love Gives

Love doesn’t take, keep score, or transact. 

Love gives and gives selflessly and generously.

4. Love Commits

No commitment, no love. Love is loyal, faithful, and sure.

5. Love Forgives

Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love leaves the past in the past and doesn’t bring it up. Love gives fresh starts and new beginnings.

6. Love Sees the Best

Love thinks the best about the other person and assigns good intentions to them; love isn’t easily wounded or suspicious.

7. Love is Wise

Love isn’t a doormat. It stands for what’s right. It doesn’t compromise what it knows is true and right. Love isn’t naive, so it doesn’t allow itself to be exploited or taken advantage of. 

Four Types of Love

1. Agape Love – unconditional love. 

Unconditional love is love by choice. Love is, first and foremost, a decision.

What would happen if we loved someone only when we felt like it? The relationship would be on again, off again, on again, off again, etc. 

You choose to be in a relationship with someone because you’ve decided to love them – even when you don’t feel like it, or they’re less than lovable. 

Agape love is loving someone despite their faults because you have chosen to be a person of love; love is based on your character and not on their performance. 

2. Phileo Love – “Brotherly love,” a non-passionate, virtuous love. 

Phileo love is the kind of love expressed and experienced in close friendships; it’s fondness.  

3. Storge Love -The love one has for their family.

“Storge (pronounced storjay) refers to familial love, a deep and caring bond that develops naturally between parent and children, husbands and wives, siblings and also others who are close enough to be called “family.” Storge love is a protective love that can withstand hardships and trials.”

4. Eros – this is the physical and sexual side of love. 

Eros is the root word for erotic. This one is pretty much self-explanatory, especially in our sexualized society. 

Final Thoughts… 

What does love mean to you? How do you know when someone loves you? How do you know when they don’t love you but say they do?

Love is both simple and complex, and clear and confusing, all at the same time. 

We should experience love in all its forms and expressions when it comes to marriage. We should love our spouses unconditionally and with tender affection. We should love them for better or worse with a love that does not budge, bend or break. 

We should love them selflessly – in a relationship that seeks to give, not take.

True love isn’t the least bit transactional.

Genuine love isn’t self-seeking, self-pleasing, or self-promoting.

Love isn’t inconsistent, unstable, or flaky.

Love isn’t dishonest, deceptive, exploitive, manipulative, or treacherous.

Love doesn’t threaten, intimidate, or incite fear.

Love is beautifully intricate and complex, full of grace, mercy, and compassion. 

Love is patient, kind, generous, and overlooks shortcomings and faults. 

In a world of exploitation and selfish gratification, it’s easy to become skeptical and cynical about love. And even easier to put walls around our hearts to guarantee that we will never ever get hurt. 

But that’s no way to live.

Love is worth the risk because it makes life worth living. 

The Bible says that God is love.

Perhaps…just perhaps…love isn’t as much a feeling or an action as it is an identity.

What if you chose to identify yourself today by this short, simple sentence: “I am love.” Make it even more personal by inserting your name in the space provided: “I {insert your name: ______________} am love.” For when you do this, perhaps you begin to learn one of love’s most precious truths of all: Love is brave.

Comments are closed.