When a couple has been married a long time, they sometimes start to take each other for granted. The words “please” and “thank you” and other forms of common courtesy become a thing of the past.

However, lack of courtesy should not be taken lightly – even in a happy marriage. It can be a sign of more serious marital problems such as lack of appreciation and selfishness.

Does your spouse deserve a “thank you” for doing his/her chores or fulfilling his/her responsibilities?

One of the reasons why some people have a hard time saying please” and “thank you” to their spouses is because they mistakenly believe that these words should be reserved for favors that go beyond the expected. They don’t think their spouses deserve gratitude for “doing their jobs.”

However, the truth is that, when you show gratitude to your spouse, you are not necessarily appreciating the fact that they did what they were supposed to do; you are appreciating the time, effort and thoughtfulness they put into it.

Should you say “thank you” even when your spouse is unable to meet your expectations?

Many people think that gratitude should be dependent on results. However, this attitude can be dangerous in marriage because it often leads to nit picking. Focusing on effort rather than results ensures that your spouse feels appreciated and motivated to do better.

Common Courtesy Can Save Your Marriage

Research shows that common courtesy is an integral part of a happy marriage. It benefits both the giver and the recipient by making them feel more connected to each other and increases satisfaction in the marriage.

Courtesy also prevents people from feeling taken for granted. This is important because feeling unappreciated is not only discouraging but also deadly to the marriage.

Every day presents many wonderful opportunities to say “please” and “thank you” to your spouse. Start taking advantage of them today for a happy marriage.