Let’s start with a surprising—and sobering—statistic:

The average couple spends just 20 minutes of quality time together per day.

That’s 20 minutes…and no, that doesn’t include sleeping in the same bed, eating meals side-by-side, doing chores, or even watching TV together in silence. We’re talking about true connection: meaningful conversation, emotional intimacy, shared laughter, and mutual presence.

So here’s the first question to ask yourself:

How much quality time are you and your spouse spending together each day?

• More than 20 minutes?
• Less?
• Or maybe… you’re not quite sure?

Whatever your answer, here’s something to consider:

The Time It Takes to Thrive

Research and relationship experts suggest that couples in healthy marriages spend at least 15 hours of quality time together per week. That averages out to just over 2 hours per day.

And for couples facing challenges in their relationship?
They need closer to 20 hours weekly to restore and rebuild connection.

Let that sink in.

If the national average is only 20 minutes per day, that means most couples are getting less than a quarter of the time they need to maintain a thriving relationship—let alone repair a struggling one.

Why Time Matters More Than You Think

Now, before you start feeling discouraged or guilty, know this:

You’re not alone. Life is busy. Between work, parenting, household responsibilities, and the constant ping of devices and distractions, it’s easy for couples to fall into the trap of “parallel living.” You’re under the same roof, maybe even in the same room, but not really connecting.

But here’s the truth:

Spending only 20 minutes a day together is a recipe for emotional distance and the slow death of intimacy.

And I know that’s not what you want. That’s not why you got married.

That’s not the relationship you dreamed of building.

Time Is an Investment, Not a Luxury

If you’re only spending 20 minutes (or less) of real connection each day, where is your marriage headed?

• Toward emotional drift?
• Toward feeling more like roommates than partners?
• Toward resentment, miscommunication, or isolation?

That may sound dramatic, but in our experience talking with countless couples, it’s all too common.

But here’s the good news: it doesn’t take a major overhaul to start turning things around.

What Can You Do About It?

Let’s keep this simple and actionable.

Start with this weekend.

Make it a priority—not a maybe—to spend intentional, quality time with your spouse.

Not distracted time.
Not passive time.
Not “sit-on-the-couch-scrolling-phones” time.

We’re talking about:

• Going for a walk and catching up on life.
• Sitting down to talk over coffee—no phones, no interruptions.
• Cooking together.
• Playing a game.
• Dreaming about the future.
• Watching a movie and talking about it afterward.
• Reading together, praying together, or just laughing together.

It doesn’t need to be grand or expensive. It just needs to be intentional and shared.

The Challenge: Make the Time Count

We all say we don’t have enough time. But the truth is, we make time for what matters.

So here’s a gentle challenge for this week:

Find ways to spend more quality time with your spouse starting this weekend.

• Aim for a couple of hours, even if you have to break it up throughout the day.
• Protect that time like it matters—because it does.
• And don’t stop there. Make it a habit. Make it a priority. Make it part of your rhythm as a couple.

The Bottom Line?

A strong marriage doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built moment by moment, day by day, with small deposits of love, attention, and time.

If you want more connection, more joy, more intimacy in your relationship, it starts with showing up and spending more than just 20 minutes a day together.You can’t build a lasting marriage in minutes. But you can start right now by choosing to be present and intentional with the one you love.