Honesty is everything, not just with others but with yourself. Lying and fooling yourself keeps you stuck, miserable, and unhappy. It’s impossible to live the life you want if you’re building it on a foundation of delusion. Don’t sacrifice long-term joy by settling for short-term happiness.

Here are five ways to start being more honest with yourself.

1. See the good AND the bad

Why do we welcome the “good” but ignore the “bad?”

Avoiding the stuff we don’t want doesn’t make it go away; it only makes things worse in the long-run.

Be honest with yourself. Be honest about what’s good AND not so good about your life and marriage. Face the stuff you don’t want to face. Strive to become the person who rises above and overcomes those things, no matter how difficult or unpleasant they might be.

2. Evaluate your life

A few times a week (daily is best), take time to review your life and how the day went. What went well? What didn’t go so well? What can you improve? Don’t be critical or judgmental; just honest. The goal is to identify what you can do to improve your life and marriage.

3. Accept mistakes

Mistakes are a part of life. Some are big, and others are small; everyone makes them.

Be honest about your mistakes. Take responsibility. Don’t blame or make excuses. Own your humanity. Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you ARE the mistake.

Have the courage to say, “I made a mistake.” And realize that sometimes it takes making a mistake to find a better way.

Mistakes are lessons—nothing more, nothing less.

4. Evaluate your emotions

Your emotions are a kind of gauge that lets you know an area of your life needs your attention.

Exploring a certain emotion might reveal why you feel the way you do about a situation…or that maybe something needs adjusting.

Emotions can lead you to improve, change, or choose an appropriate response to a certain situation.

5. Don’t over analyze

Although you should take time to evaluate your life, don’t over-analyze.

Don’t get caught or carried away. Try to be matter of fact. The goal is to get the facts, so you know how to move forward appropriately. Be realistic, practical, and wise.

To live a life that’s truly fulfilling, and to have a relationship with your partner that you truly enjoy, give yourself the gift of honesty; you can’t get to where you want to go until you know where you’re starting.