Does it seem like your husband or wife never agrees with you?

No one want’s to be in a relationship where every little decision turns into a battle or one where every suggestion is rejected without much communication in marriage. Sometimes you just want your spouse to not only acknowledge your view point, but also agree with you!

So, how do you get your partner to agree with you without nagging, badgering or sulking? What do you do when “rational” explanations fail to convince your partner of your perspective?

Change your Approach to Communication in Marriage

What you’re doing isn’t working so it’s time to rethink your approach. For starters, your entire argument should not begin and end with “I think it’s a good idea.” There has to be more to it.

When making a decision, people factor in their own interests, the pros and cons of the decision, and how they feel about the person making the request and the request itself. This is why logical arguments don’t always work.

One way to persuade or influence your partner is to appeal to their self-interest. Emphasize how they too will benefit from the decision. If you have kids, explain how they’ll also benefit from the decision. This technique is especially useful for financial decisions.

Another way to influence your spouse is by honoring and respecting their point of view. It’s possible that your spouse doesn’t necessary think that theirs is the best option, but they want to feel heard and respected. They’re probably focusing more on your body language rather than what you’re saying.

Actively listen to your partner when it’s his or her turn to speak. Paraphrase and echo what they’re saying to ensure that you’re both on the same page. This listening technique helps to validate your spouse’s feelings and lowers their defenses.

If all your efforts to persuade your significant other do not bear any fruit, put the ball in their court. Ask them to explain why they don’t think it’s a good idea. This forces your partner to confront his or her thoughts and feelings about your point of view.

These tips can help you influence and persuade your partner. However, it’s important to remember that you can’t win every argument.

When it comes to communication in marriage, you have to pick your battles. If you use these persuasion techniques and you r spouse still doesn’t agree with you, it’s time to come to a compromise that honors both of your opinions.