You know what you need to do but don’t want to do it because it might hurt their feelings. What do you do with the toxic friendship that’s keeping you from having a happy marriage?

Breaking up with friends is a hard thing to do, plus it hurts and it’s messy, too!

But sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. Just make sure you use a little tact.

We all know that not all friendships are good for your marriage. For instance, friends who don’t respect your values and beliefs about marriage, or who think the worst of your spouse, have no place in your marriage – and if you allow them to remain, you can kiss a happy marriage goodbye.

Sure, cutting them loose is difficult. And if you’ve been friends for a long time, oh boy, it leaves you feeling guilty and cruel (but that could be because they called you the “worst person ever!” as they slammed the door on their way out).

Fade Out

Friendships, like anything else in life, have a natural life cycle. Often, friends are drawn together by circumstances. But as situations change, so do friendships.

It’s not uncommon for people to outgrow friendships and gradually drift apart. In fact, this is the most common way of ending friendships.

What’s nice about this “approach” is that there’s hardly any drama AND you never really have to have that emotionally difficult conversation about why the friendship is ending. The phone calls simply fizzle out and you both go your separate ways.

Pull Back

It’s not always necessary to end a friendship completely. Sometimes, putting some distance between you and your toxic friends is enough to end their influence on your marriage.

You can remain friendly without calling or hanging out as much as you used to. You can also start spending more time with other friends so that you’re not so desperate for the company of your toxic friends.

Clean Break

Conflict is unpleasant. But, when you’re trying to end a friendship that is toxic to your happy marriage, a huge argument or disagreement can be what it takes to force a clean break.

Now, you don’t get to ignore them completely and walk away without saying anything. You’ll still need to talk with them about the situation but at least they won’t be taken by surprise.

Difficult Conversation

Letting a friend know that you’re ending the friendship is the hardest, but most respectful, way to end a friendship. Here’s the key: Be honest about how you’re feeling but don’t focus too much on what they’ve done wrong or how they’ve disappointed you. Let them know that the friendship is causing marriage problems, but don’t place all the blame on them.

The best way to end a toxic friendship varies depending on the situation. Some friendships fade on their own as circumstances change, while others require you to, more or less, breakup with your friend for the sake of having a happy marriage.